Two Tickets to (Burnout) Paradise?
Believe it or not it's nearly holiday season! We got to thinking (big kids that we are) what would be your favourite video game location to spend a couple of weeks?
Here's our choice selection - We'd love to know yours.
Ideal For:- Thrill Seekers and Amateur Archaeologists.
Some cities sell themselves on their architecture, some on their history, and some sell themselves on the fact they are the only place you can go not to be killed by Handsome Jack and his cronies. Boasting a wide demographic of inhabitants ranging in from mentally unstable through to purely insane, Sanctuary will provide even the most seasoned traveler with some stories to bring home.
Things to see:- See the famous HQ of the Crimson Raiders just off the iconic Town Square.
Things to do:- ‘Catch a ride’ at the Scooters Workshop, Add to your Arsenal at Marcus’ Munitions or stop for a cold one at Moxxi’s bar.
Things to avoid:- Avoid getting injured, the medical facilities provided by Dr Zed are far from NHS approved.
Things to pack:- The best shield you can afford, every weapon you can think of and the best Rakk repellent money can buy!
Ideal For - Nature and Safari Lovers
An expansive and un-populated peninsula which includes vast fields, vast mountain ranges and vast ruins of a bygone age. There's little treasure hunting to be done here unfortunately as there is little to evidence any civilisation with the exception of the large empty stone structures which litter the landscape. The perfect place to go when you just want some time alone...
Things to see:- There are 16 Colossi which inhabit the land. Can you find them all?
Things to do:- Ride your horse endlessly. Poach the local wildlife if that's your thing (sicko).
Things to avoid:- Whilst they won't attack unprovoked some of the beasts can be territorial so approach with caution!
Things to pack:- Aforementioned horse, it's a big space to traverse without one! a Sword will do you well too.
Ideal For:- Over 50’s Party People
Milla trains Psi Cadets and as part of that training she invites them into her mind. Outwardly Milla is an optimistic extrovert who is clearly into 60’s and 70’s fashion and her mind reflects this gloriously. A 70’s Dance party straight out of Austin Powers awaits you with all the groovy music you could ask for. Also provided is a large roller rink racetrack which is perfect for breaking a sweat before arriving in the lava lamp lounge before boogieing the night away!
Things to see:- A giant lava lamp and the Racetrack are highlights.
Things to do:- Dance, party, Dance, Rollerblade, Dance, Levitate on Fans, Dance…
Things to avoid:- The Nursery. That room's a buzz kill.
Things to pack:- No-one gets in without a Psycho Portal and you might want some Roller skates to take advantage of the course.
Rapture (Pre-decay)- Bioshock
Ideal For:- Aquarium lovers and Political Idealists.
Six years in the making, the North Atlantic Project, or Rapture to most, opened in 1951. Born of Andrew Ryan’s desire to escape the political and religious oppression he perceived, Rapture is a capitalist haven where every man can succeed and is "Entitled to the sweat from his brow". Beyond it's anti political leanings Rapture is a stunning underwater labyrinth of scientific marvel to explore.
Things to see:- Arcadia - The forest under the Sea, Point Prometheus - Raptures tallest skyscraper, Fort Frolic - The theatre and entertainment district.
Things to do:- Shop in Fontaine's - The latest in men's and women's sub aquatic fashion, Explore the Welcome Centre with its Kashmir Restaurant.
Things to avoid:- The inevitable collapse of a society with no rules beyond self-interest leading to a point where your body is drained of ADAM by creepy little girls with big syringes.
Things to pack:- Your Pistol, A large wrench, and a Camera so that those who find you know which Big Daddy stamped on your head.
Ideal For:- Hikers and Campers
The Bionis is a decaying corpse of a titan which is inhabited by a race called Homs which are all but a human species. The story goes that the Bionis and the Mechonis fought and killed one another with the Bionis severing the Mechonis Arm before being skewered on the Mechonis’ blade. The blade now serves as a battleground being the only access point between the 2 titans.
Things to see:- Grassy plains, Sparkling oceans surrounded by Shooting stars, colossal waterfalls all overseen by the towering Mechonis (the neighbouring titan).
Things to do:- Travel, Night and Day. The land has a wide variety of vistas which transform under the darkness of night. Foggy marshes become neon forests and snowy mountains become lit by luminous beacons.
Things to avoid:- The neighboring titan's residents can be a pest and have developed a taste for "Hom" flesh.
Things to pack:- The Monado (easiest way to beat away the neighbouring colony).
Ideal For:- Beach Resort Sun Seekers!
Isle Delfino (Dolphin in Italian) is a tropical paradise and holiday resort which is occupied by Piantas on the land and Noki’s beneath the crystal clear sea. The Island is dolphin shaped (we get it, the codename for the GameCube was Dolphin!) with the main resort located on what would be the creatures nose. It includes Corona Mountain which is great for a day trip and has Pinna Park, a family theme park is located on a separate island what would be the tail. The area is known to have graffiti issues and it’s best to stay off the streets during the Smash Brothers Tournament and Mario Kart Events which take place periodically!
Things to see:- What’s not to see? The Bay, The Mountain, The Plaza. The entire resort is made to be admired (following thorough cleaning).
Things to do:- Pinna Park includes a rollercoaster and ferris wheel attractions. Visiting Noki Bay has recently been de-polluted and it’s well worth a trip to see the Noki King!
Things to avoid:- Corona Mountain is an active volcano on the island which might look fun and inviting...will probably kill you...
Things to pack:- A Wet Suit and Your F.L.U.U.D device makes traversing the landscape a whole lot easier, some parts of the island are inaccessible without it!
Ideal For:- 80s Nostalgics
If you are feeling out of place walking around in your Hawaiian shirt, mirror shades and Tom Selleck mustache then maybe it’s time for a break to somewhere where people will dig you. A swinging music scene of power ballads and catchy riffs, Vice City, Florida, has something for everyone.
Things to see:- Choose from over 5 beautiful beaches, Catch a game or racing at the Hyman Memorial Stadium or watch the sun rise (at 05.14 local time) over the downtown skyline.
Things to do:- Try shooting the moon with a sniper rifle (Google it!), go to the Washington Beach Fun Fair or go dancing at the Malibu Club.
Things to avoid:- Straying into the Military Base. Those guys do NOT like you borrowing their stuff!
Things to pack:- The handy map that comes in the box (like every game should!), a cigar and some tight white jeans.
Ideal For:- Those with Green Fingers or Those on a Working Visa.
Has your office job been getting you down? Would you rather spend your time growing produce than creating spreadsheets? Then the farm at Stardew Valley is the place for you. Located just east of Pelican Town, the charming recently renovated working Farm gives you the opportunity to work with your hands and really create something. Also providing a few gold to those backpackers on a working visa to extend their trip.
Things to see:- Lush Green Forests, A Working Mine,
Things to do:- Go fishing - a lot, Kill slimes in the mine with your recently purchased swords, pet a cat or go to one of the quarterly food festivals.
Things to avoid:- Sunny days - You'll have to spend most your energy just watering the crops.
Things to pack:- Sun Hat, Gardening Tools and a Fishing Rod.
Ideal For:- Newly Weds, Relaxation Seekers and Angsty Princes.
Located in the popular Leide region the beautiful white beaches of Galdin Quay are enough to take any aspiring King’s mind off the recent murder of his father. A popular fishing and relaxation spot with visitors, Galdin Quay also boasts great travel links to the sprawling city of Altissa.
Things to see:- Picturesque sunsets and sunrises, miles of pristine blue ocean as far as the eye can see and also a cute couple splashing about in the water on an endless loop of adoring affection for each other.
Things to do:- Eat in one of the finest restaurants, stay in one of the priciest hotels to double your XP or take orders from a cat who gives you quests.
Things to avoid:- Huge crabs, Imperial drop ships and sand in delicate areas.
Things to pack:- Your credit card if you intend on staying at the hotel/spa for 10,000gil. It’s certainly not cheap! For those on a budget there is a dodgy looking caravan in the car park.
Ideal For:- Thrill Seekers
Built in the desert on the site of an old destroyed town the Gold Saucer stands as a beacon fun and enjoyment in an otherwise desolate waste. Featuring 7 different arenas you can take you pick as to whether you enjoy gambling, gaming or simply seeing the sights from a gondola ride. Currency is key in these lavish surrounding all surrounded by a theme song that will get stuck in your head as much as “it’s a small world”. Just don’t run out of money as you’ll end up in the desert below and may become prey to the strongest monster in the world – Ruby Weapon!
Things to see:- The Saucer itself is a monument to overindulgence covered in gold and neon. Spend the night in a themed haunted mansion and catch a play in the Event Square.
Things to do:- Try the Arcade at Wonder Square, Gamble on Chocobo races and ride the rollercoaster complete with light gun score attack mini-game. Or you could try your hand at the battle arena…
Things to avoid:- Straying off the resort. It's located in a desert and the remaining residents of the town below aren't too friendly...
Things to pack:- Lots of Gil and any lucky charms you might covet!
Ideal For:- 18-30 Hedonists.
The story goes that after claiming to be the winner of the Third Dead or Alive Tournament (the actual winner was Ayane who won the tournament but had no interest in the gold or glory) Zack takes his competition earnings to Las Vegas and win’s big and reinvests his money by purchasing a tropical island he dubbed “Zack Island”! Once established he invited the female roster of the DoA franchise under the pretence that they’d be entering the next tournament when in reality they’d be convinced into staying for a fortnight bikini vacation (yes that is the actual plot).
Things to see:- White sand beaches, reefs to explore, pool casino and (of course) bikini shop. All enveloped with a constant soundtrack including Reel Big Fish, Baha Men and B*witched.
Things to do:- Watersports and beach volleyball can be enjoyed whilst you’re not lounging poolside.
Things to avoid:-Peeping Toms and getting caught on Bass Island when the tide goes in.
Things to pack:- Bikini (You’ll only need 1 as the resident’s will gift you the rest).
NOWO TIP - You didn’t hear it from me but if you twist the camera to look through a sun visor, any bikini’s with shear parts disappear through the transparency. Up to you to decide whether you believe us.
Did we frequent anywhere that you think would be a good idea? Is there somewhere else you'd like to spend a fortnight? Us know in the comments below.